Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Finding Joy in my Journey

I gave the lesson in Relief Society on Sunday, & for selfish reasons I chose to use President Monson's talk "Finding Joy in the Journey" as my topic. I needed the reminder to enjoy the here & NOW, to stop waiting for that "nonexistent future" when I'll have all the time to do everything I want to do, and to find joy everyday in my life- even the hard days! I have to look past all the obstacles & find the good, becasue I know it's there! I've felt so blessed since I started preparing the lesson & reminding myself that these experiences I'm having each day are only temporary- before I know it they will be gone & I may even miss them! I've been finding the joy in my daily, no where near where I'm wanting to be, imperfect life & it feels wonderful to have gratitude in my heart again for the little  simple things!!
Today has been a hard day. Probably the hardest day since the surgery. Sterling go this catheter out this morning & has been screaming the entire time he's been awake pretty much ever since. However, I get to be HERE with him, holding him, kissing away his tears, comforting him... that brings me joy. He turned 10 months old today, & his short little life has FLOWN by, so I'm sure that the time will come that I will look back and miss the days when he was little, sick, & wanted nothing more than for me to hold him! Since I'm limited on what I can do with a crying baby in my arms, I got to sit & enjoy a show with Roman. We were watching Veggie Tales & out of no where, he reaches over and holds my free hand :). A few minutes later, he points to the daddy broccoli on the TV and states, "That's not my daddy. My dad is not a tree."... I laughed out loud! The whole experience with him brought me joy! He has been exceptionally difficult lately (& I'm sure it has everything to do with 1) Being a 3 year old boy, 2) How stressed out/tense I've been lately, & 3) All the attention we've been showing toward Sterling), so it was so nice to reconnect with me sweet, darling, hilarious Roman Boy!
Something else that brought me joy today was receiving a placement letter from Maricopa Community Colleges... After waiting for 2 years I HAVE BEEN PLACED & WILL BE STARTING NURSING SCHOOL THIS FALL!!!! WHOOO HOOO!! I'm soo exciting to start progressing toward my goal again! I was placed at Chandler Gilbert, and even though I wasn't expecting to go there, I feel really good/excited about it! I know the road ahead is going to be tough at times, but with my refined hope, faith, & positive outlook I know I can do it!! The journey will be hard, but I know I can/will find the joy in it :')